Diary Entriess

Diary Entriess >_<

[10/6/2026]

[16.28] FINALLYYY REACHED DORMMMMMMMMMMM I SLEPT AT 12 LAST NIGHT ANF WOKE UP AT 4 I NEED SLEEEEEEEEEEEP oke goodnightt!!

[09/6/2026]

[23.02] Marvel is actually quite a nice guy! He kept force-paying me for my stuff. I feel bad bcuz he spent lots of money on my snacks, but its been so veryvery long since a guy bought me a food, back then Im the one who used to buy a guy snack, its the other way arouund now! I understand the feeling huuuuu
[21.32] MUAHHAAHHAHA IM NOT JOINING MORNING EXERCISE TMRR BCUZ VISUAL ARTS MEMBERS ARE PREPARING FOR THE POLDA DIY'S PAINTING WHICH IS DUE TONIGHT MUAHAHAHHAHAHAHA IM GONNA DIE MWAHHAHAHAH *dies*

[08/6/2026]

[13.57] We did it guyssss!! I saw their reactions, and damn I dont think I will be accepted into the core members ;-;
[12.57] Moments before the interview!! Wish me luck tehee~~
[09.24] AUGHHHHHH ITS THE HOUSEMEET I HATE THISSSSSS.. I have an interview at 2 PM today FAWKKKKKKKKK I only join one game and its tmrr!! I WAS FORCED INTO THE GAMEEE I DONT WANNA DO ITTTTT

[07/6/2026]

[18.08] Fighting for that internship!

[06/6/2026]

[20.43] Till dis very day I still hav no idea why do I sweat so damn much easily, what is this curse. On a more serious note, I will try to be more active in updating my diary, I still need to remember that my lost online friend's only way to "see" me is through this diary, I cant dissapoint her, Idk what hav been happening to uu, hope ure doin fine over thereee plz hang on a lil longer itll be over soon!! We can meet again during school break. If u rlly hav nothing to "live" for at least live for another weird story of mine here, dont stop js now, I cant loose u any more than this, yeah? Pinky ull at least use this diary as ur very very last reason
[15.20] I want to start over with a new name, new story, new hobbies and new everything. We'll greet each other at a different place with a different smile and Ill introduce myself with a new nickname, maybe you'll reply back with your new name, or you can stick with the same name, that's fine. Im a new person you just met, you have never seen me before. Nice to meet you
[11.02] MARVEL GAY AS HELL I KNOW HE LIKES MAN
[09.54] HAPPY WED ANNIVERSARY UNDA ABAHHHHHH EKKKKKKKKKKK I HOPE YOU GUYS STAY DISGUSTINGLY IN LOVE W ONE ANOTHER WMEHHEMEMEHE

[05/6/2026]

[16.56] I knoww Im gonna tell you guys what had happened on the 2nd 3rd anf 4th date, buuuuut Im too lazy to do all that now, so I will continue my storytelling after my infodump! With all of these free time, I started continuing my Neuroscience paper reading session, especially on TBI and cerebellum. It caught me off guard for a hot minute when they said that people who are more "reactive towards external stimuli such as sounds and tickling are more prone to SPD, which are commonly found in neurodivergent individuals" I am not joking when I said I was sweating buckets at that statement, but turns out its a lot more common in todays society, and a huge chance that my high sensitivity isnt due to my cerebellum being underactive, its probably just because my brain sends signals towards those stimuli as a threat which lead a fight-or-flight instinct, its completely normal and what I can do to heighten my tolerance towards external stimulis like the stated above is not by blocking the source of the stimuli directly, but instead, by pairing the stimuli with something that made me go "hahahehe yippieee" so that my brain isnt overly "fried" due to the constant absorption of the information! Another thing is on postacute care, which essentially just means a treatment done to a patient immediately after their leave from a hospital due to injury or brain trauma, it functions to help the patient adaptae and transition back to their everyday life prior the injury. OKIEOKIE THATS IT FOR TODAYS INFODUMP ILL BE BACK FOR MORE!! Ill give you guys the link to the papers that I read

[04/6/2026]

[16.57] Better than ever! HELLO DIARY I MISS U SOSOSOSO MUCHHH HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM GONNA TELL YOU GUYS ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHINGGGGGG EEEEKKKKKKKKKK okeoke first day we met w Mr.Jumadi, he is such a fine gentleman for a kepala dusun for Dusun Gondang Sari, he got 2 beautiful daughters name Abel (10th grader, her paintings are awsome!) and Gisel (3rd grader! She loves to help out her mom in cooking!) We help around the house by cooking and cleaning up, we also help Abel learn Biology for her upcoming test YESSSSSS THEYRE STILL IN THEIR SUMMATIVE WEEK WBAHAWUHWHBHBHHW yadayadaya and then Gizel took us to a quick tour around the Dusun and even reached nearby Dusun. We go to bed and thats it for day 1! Ill tell you guys about day 2 later! I wanna rest >_< I MAKE NEW FRIENDS AT SLB BTW!!!!!

[01/6/2026]

[06.09] I can do Sibi sign language now :D

[31/5/2026]

[20.03] I cut my bangs
[16.49] On a very raaaandom Tuesday ofc they gotta switch my housemates ;-;
[09.28] IM SORRY I WAS BUSY YESTERDAY I BARELY HAVE ANY CHANCE TO OPEN MY MACBOOK SOSOSO SORYYYYYYYYYY.. I got a N5M book from yesterday's expert forum session~

[29/5/2026]

[14.44] Am I acting too rude to my friends? I think I got a lil too comfy there and started blurting out words w/o thinkin. Ill leave them alone then, I might be disturbing them

[27/5/2026]

[20.14] Beep.

[26/5/2026]

[20.36] Im a complete person after all :D
[11.02] FUCKKKKKK KETEBAK GUGUKKKKKKKKKKKKKK NOOOOOO UDH KETEBAK G SERUUUUUUUUUU
[09.50] WEEEEEEEEE IM ASSIGNED TO THE SLB STUDENTSS YEAYYYYYYY LETS DO OUR BEST

[25/5/2026]

[17.54] HUAAAAAAAAAAA SLEEPYYYYYYY I WANNA SLEEP WITHIN SOMEONES HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I MISS MY MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM anw I did my IELTS again today for reading, I didnt realized how easy it was, I spend like 30 minutes on the entire test then we dip. Praying the same for my writing test tomorrow
[05.51] 平井直
[05.38] What if I dye my hair like Kirara? Like only some part of the bang

[24/5/2026]

[20.20] Achoo! ..ouch :(( Is this a punishment cuz I wasnt nice w my friends? :(( Huuuuuuuuu Im so eepy too.. huuuuuuuuuu I want hugs now, Ill be sure to hug my mom a lot later on~~ No its probably just me bad at maanging my health, especially since the last couple of days I kindaaaaaaaaaaa overworked myself, lesson learned everyone! I just remembered my promise to keep on updating this diary, Im goin back on that track, I hope my online friends wont be mad that I did my diary half-ass-ed :3
[11.11] WHO TF REMINDED ME OF AOT ENDING AND HOW MIKASA AND EREN FACE REALITY DIFFERENTLY, HOW ABOUT ALL OF U DIE AND THEN ILL KILL MYSELF HOW ABOUT IF WE ALL JS DIE AND KILL THE SENSE OF LOVE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE STOPPPPPPPP SHE CHOSE TO CONTINUE LOVING EREN LONG AFTER HIS DEATH HOW ABOUT WE ALL DIE INSTEAD??? SOUNDS GREAT LETS ALL DIE
[09.16] One painting down! 3 MORE TO FUCKIN GO. ALL THE SUDDEN THE VISIT TO POLDA DIY ALSO WANTS TO GIVE THEM A GIFT OF PAINTING FOR OUR VISIT NO DIEEEEEEEEEEEE, THE OTHER ONE IS FOR MR.OWO LATER NOVEMBER AND THE OTHER ONE Is a smaller piece also for the exhibition tehee~~ Right now Im js gesso-ing the canvas so I can finish the painting maaaaaaaaaaybe by next week.. Im so sad that many people wont like my painting.. I dont believe my friends when they said it looks fine, but thats oke! Ultimately Im painting this for myself, Im not expecting anyone to be curious about the painting :D Its a self portrait of me!! Sometimes I see myself as that person, Im not sure why Im soo obssessed with fishies, I dont even know much about fish, I guess Im js into the way they are. Stupid big-eyed creature who swim swim away~~ How adorable..

[23/5/2026]

[20.38] I already apologized to my friend YIPPIEEEEE!!! Now hopefully he wont blacklist me from his food tester tehee~~ He walks like a giant teddy ngl ;-;
[10.26] WHEMWHMHEMWMEHEEMHEMHE I KEPT BULLYING MY FRIENDSSSS I think one of them is upset at me.. I promised him to act nicer yesterday BUT I JS CANTTTTT HES TOO BULLY ABLE BWAHUWHHWAHBAHAHHAAAHHHA Okeoke I SHOULD act nicer to him, its only right to do so BUT HWHEEMHEWHHWHH Nahnah Ill figure out a way, Im still enjoying bullying him for now~~

[22/5/2026]

[14.25] My running improved!

[21/5/2026]

[18.15] beep.

[20/5/2026]

[04.34] beep.

[19/5/2026]

[10.29] beep.

[18/5/2026]

[10.02] beep.

[17/5/2026]

[06.55] beep.

[16/5/2026]

[10.17] beep.

[15/5/2026]

[19.23] Sorry my lovely darlings, something happened at my end and Ive been working on it for a while, Im not comfortable sharing it w uu guys yet.. Mr.Ulung is no longer w us.. he left, resigned, fired, Im not sure. I hope he can be somewhere better, the pay here is surely good, but I can tell its restricting him in many ways, I will miss him and his petantang petenteng self, I hope the smiski that I gave him can keep him company, so that at least he got a lil friend w him whenever he's alone!! A FEW DAYS AGO I SAID THAT MARVEL WAS SURELY GOING TO SHOOT HIS SHOT RIGHT??? IM DEAD WRONG HE MOVED ON ALREADY IM SHOCKED DUDE NONONONO MY MAMA AND PAPA THIS CANT BE MY BOAT IS SINKINGGGGG MY SHIP IS SINKINGGGGGGGGGGGG anw I have over 200 songs on my mp3 player now~~~ I might open a gform asking for song reccomendations I dunnooooo Ill think about it. My 4 acryllic paint has arrived a few days ago, I dont know what else to add to my painting, but I think w my weird acryllic colours, I can experiment w something so that the lil story that I want can be delivered~~~~~~~~~~~~
[19.15] beep.

[14/5/2026]

[17.12] beep.

[13/5/2026]

[11.09] beep.

[12/5/2026]

[10.32] beep.

[11/5/2026]

[06.34] beep.

[10/5/2026]

[06.46] beep.

[09/5/2026]

[15.22] beep.

[08/5/2026]

[19.36] I found my unfinished letter that was planned to be sent for him, Ill ask Marvel to rip it out tomorrow. My handwriting was so cute back then >_<
[13.55] beep.

[07/5/2026]

[06.57] Good morninggg!! The moon is still slightly visible, looks like a watercolor painting. Talkin about watercolor, do yall know one of the reasons people use watercolor though its suuuuuper hard and suuuuuper expansive? I watched an interview with an artist, and he said something along the lines of it challenged him with the uncertainty and unpredictable nature of watercolor, the medium of water gives life to his artworks. Impressive! I struggle a lot with my watercolor paintings, but whenever I play around w it for fun it looks kinda nice, so maybe I should stop pressuring myself to produce art everytime I touch my supplies. Yeah, that sounds nice :> Do yall know that Im also working on my huge painting for the exhibition? I painted the main object already, I might add some more details.. but its kinda stupid cuz I forgot to paint the background first.. so yeah the main object is almost ready but the background is heeeell naw.. just pray for me, kay? All of u? :<

[06/5/2026]

[20.15] Hmmmm no Sofia.. thats not very nice of you..
[16.12] BUNDAAAAAAAA MAU PELUKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
[10.32] B.indo sum done

[05/5/2026]

[09.17] Im gonna prove it to her that I deserve this name. Its mine.

[04/5/2026]

[19.43] Theres pink and purple in the skyiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiai goddammmmmmmmmmmm Im EEPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[17.30] 10 MINUTES AWAY FROM BREAKING MY FASTT EKKKKKKKKK HUNGRYYYYYY T^T
[12.57] Sorryyyy I expected too much from him, but at last, my part for the verification is over!!! Lasted around 50 minutes and the IB Verificator was suuper chill at first, turns out theyre js like Ms.Lea, bold, straightforward and future-oriented. Im sure they alr know that we're prepared, so they asked another 15 random students to be interviewed, this time, Im sure they have prepared the reaaaaaaal IB questions..
[08.57] Wiiiiiiiww had a quick meeting w the IB verificator and damn theyre chill asf!! BWHUAHHWBAHAHWH SOMEONE SAID RUSSIAN INSTEAD OF RUSSIA, what is that question anw, its obvi dat the situation there aint good for international student, even in America.. unfortunately JHU is in America so.. oh god bless our future neuroscientists..

[03/5/2026]

[20.30] Tired.. tmrr is the IB verification HUAAAAAAA SCAREDDDD.. I dont rlly wanna talk about ts alone so lets js talk about smth I actually passionate about! I started painting on the big canvas for the art exhibition today! Im thinking to express how I see my emotion into the painting, as a media of awareness that its okay for you to be a teenager and act like a teemager with their explosive feelings, its good to control them, but its okay to let them loose a lil. Earlier this morning I (with the help of my friends) answered a question from Mr.Arif, got a blue hand fan~~ I also did some of my integral paper, really fun! A lil confused but I def prefer this over derivatives. Rn Im at the DH, was doing my Pancasila, now doing my B.Ing. Goodnightt~~

[02/5/2026]

[12.29] Teheee its the D-Day and Im very unemployeddd. I bought some skincare from Wardah cuz my skin barrier is FUCKEDDDDD I got a nassssstyyyy sunburn all over my fuckin face >:(( Cuz I spent a lil over 200k Im gifted a freebie; pink pouch! BUT ITS GEN/ EVERYTHING I NEED SO ITS FINE IM SURE MY PARENTS WILL UNDERSTANDDDD PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEEEEE

[01/5/2026]

[21.02] The moon is reaaaally clear tonight, its like its talking to me; "calm down". Maybe its also talking to other people, reasurring them that it'll be okey, I hope they feel the same way. May those who looks up to tonight skies be given a clearer path to their future, as clear as tonight's moon. Goodnightt lovess!! SEDARMA decor officially F I N I S H E D
[13.24] WAKE UP! ITS THE FIRST OF THE MONTH! I got my SEDARMA T-Shirt~~ Rn preparing for the class' deco, later on we'll move on to decorating the hallway and maybe if we're lucky, we will finish up by tonight! >_<

[30/4/2026]

[13.45] Woah my laptop got taken away during EPI class MY BADDD ITS NOT TOK YETTT they checked some of my stuff.. okayyy and even opened my chat w HIM EWWWWWWWWWWWW get it AWAY from meeeeee, I wasnt scared when they checked my laptop, Ion got anything to hide anw but it was still really annoying, could have used it to study but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO they took it away >:( Very unproductive day fmee, I even slept in Chem class (it was individual studying so all good >_<) ..wait so I guess they took our laptops for around 5 hours.. ;-;
[08.30] In TOK class rn, we're discussing about is there any certain evidence, and if there are none, when do we think its good enough to be a knowledge, Ill paste my answer later on hereeeeee
[05.06] Good morninggg darlings!! A solid month has passed by and Im doing amazing! The goal for today is introducing myself to integration WHICH seems suuuuuper cool with the squiggly worm thing, adorableee >_<

[29/4/2026]

[12.55] Bintang js info dumped me a lot on Beyblade, now I wanna have one! The burst mechanic is so cool! So during a match, the Beyblade can explode into 3-4 parts depending on the way the player customize it! Theres a few types of Beyblade that Bintang had told me; attack, defensive, endurance and the other one which I forgot the name of but the point is this type is a Jack of all trades but a master of none, pretty darn cool, huh? Initially he also said that Beyblades are NOT expansive, ofc he lied, the average Beyblades cost around 200k above IM SO SICKKKKKKK but I understand whyyyyyy I mean cmonnn look at all those cool mechanics! Burst! Defensive with silicone or steel! Cuztomization EEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK how FUNNNNNNNNNN. Moving on to the more academic theme, Ms.Lintang had asked us to revise a sentence into an analytical paragraph, I dont wanna share my creation to the class yet so I only asked for her feedback, but she said my paragraph is already nice!! A follow up question tho! "how did character development showed the brutality and violence?" and it made me think for a second longer..
[09.27] Goood morning my darlingss!! I just finished the B.Indo formative. Got a 7!! I got 21/22 correct.. kinda sad but Im pretty okey with it, rn Im js snacking in class :D

[28/4/2026]

[21.40] Just finished the meeting like a few seconds ago, time for B.Indo! I dont think I will be consistent with writing in this diary very soon, knowing there will be the examination week, Im telling all of my darlings to not miss me too much ;) furthermore, I will not discontinue this diary anytime soon, Im not sure if anyone is actually reading this diary or Im actually alone, but, say, if theres anyone out there reading diary, I hope it entertain u a lil bit more to not do anything bad to urself, Im not acussing anybody.. its js me saying this out of my own experience; Im not nice with myself, there was a time back then where I would cut myself if I mess up even the smallest thing, I did some reflection and it might be because I have nothing to fight for or to wait for or to long for other than for doing everything "correctly", Im not a good writer but I hope this diary is something u can live for, at least stay in this world a little longer, cherish ur life once again, for as long as Im still updating this diary, and once I stop, I hope u find another thing that u can wait and long for, long enough so that u stay here with all of us. I love you, I understand, I really do, I'll be waiting, so please just focus on yourself and do your best. Goodnightt my darling(s)
[18.59] This is it guys, the super scary IB Verification prep meeting with Ms.Lea that everyone and their cats and dogs feared for dear life, the very moment I dreaded so much, has come (soon). Important to note that I have another formative on B.Indo tomorrow for The Scarlett Letter; chapter 10-18 which I also feared for my life, I almost hit a 4 mark last formative, I need to secure my 5 mark somehow.. I have about an hour before the super scary prep meeting, I cant waste anymore second.. Im sorry my darlings, I will be leaving you guys for a while.. I will come back, I promise ;)
[15.46] MY CUKIL AND 12-PAN GLITTERY WATERCOLOR HAS ARRIVEDDDDDDD ITS GORGEOUS SPARKLY PRETTYYYYYYYYY PEARLESCENT HUAAAAAA.. Im gonna abuse the absolute SHIT out of this teeny tiny watercolor set >:)
[14.34] BWUAHUWHWAHWHABBAUAUUA BA HUMBUGI BWUAHAHUAUHHAHAHAH FUNNY SCIENTIFIC NAME HAUUHAHUAHHUUH T^T
[10.13] The lil friend in me has awaken! Looks bright as hell, like, grab me a sunny. Ill see you tomorrow >_<
[07.02] "Led by Syauqi" FIREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[27/4/2026]

[21.16] I started watching the anime MarriageToxin!!!!!1 The theme song "Shake na Baby" is also super fun! I started watching because of the theme song pass my youtube reccomendation! ;) The art style of the anime is also super cute, its been a while since I came across a well-polished anime like this, the quality reminded me of Oshi No Ko :0 Tomorrow there will be another IB Ver. meeting w Ms.Lea, wish me all the best guysss!!
[17.36] We did pilates for a few min during martial art!! IM ENJOYING MARTIAL ART A LOTTT NOWW ITS SO FUN BCUZ WE'RE DOING IT OUTSIDEEEEE EHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEH I love exercises in the green field :P
[10.12] Good morning darlings.. a lot of students complaint about the haunted hill TO ME, NO IM NO LONGER THE PIC COMPLAIN TO THEEEEEEEEEMMMMM.. how boring.. nobody said any complaints about Fashion Show

[26/4/2026]

[21.05] Need a huuuuuuuuuuuug Im tiredddddddd *hugs* Oke goodnightt my loveliesssss I know you guys have been working hard! NEVER HESITATE TO TAKE A REST >:((
[19.18] I FINISHED TSL CHAP 10-18 TODAYYY BUT BUT BUT HERES THE FUCKIN CATCH, I ONLY STARTED READING AT 4PM MWHEHMHWHMEEMHWHWEHME MAN AND THE BEST PART IS I UNDERSTAND ALMOST ALL OF THE STUFF THAT I READDD EEEEEEEKKKKK IM NOT THAT STUPID ANYMOREEE IM SO HAPPYYYY T^T IM GONNA CRYYYYY FINALLY HESTER IS A GIRL ONCE AGAIN, WITH HER LONG LUCIOUS BLACK HAIR AND THE SOFT GIRLIE GLOW OF HER FACE OMGOMGOMGMGOGOGMOMGOMGMOGOGOMGOMGOMG
[17.14] Turns out Im not at peace just yet, I HAVE ANOTHER FUCKIN MEETING TONIGHT MWUHAHUAHAUHWHUWHWHA I LOVE MY LIFE *dies* Well thats funny and all but I will also have another meeting w Ms.Lea for the IB Verification somewhere next week, Im guessing it will on Tuesday or Wednesday evening.. maybe..
[05.06] IT WAS SO FIRE LAST NIGHTTTTTT, I TALKED W THE RYU COSPLAYER "Hows your dessert?" AND HE FUCKIN REPLY BACK W A "Im full" IM GONNA DIE IN PEACE. DURING COSPLAY PERFORMANCE HE ALSO CALLED OUT HIS PARTNER FROM THE CROWD TO PULL A YUTA X RYU DOMAIN CLASH LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOO DUDE

[25/4/2026]

[19.26] Minutes away from starting the entirety of the event for the night!! Im super tired and I cried twice today.. its my sister's birthday anw.. I wish she know that Im doing just fine here, I want her to be proud of me :)

[24/4/2026]

[21.42] HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM SO BUSYYY TODAY BUT IM WEIRDLY HAPPYYYYYYYY Im alsooo cosplaying too~~ Its veeery low quality tho so please dont expect too much.. still super cutee tho!
[17.21] We go running again!! What a decrease.. I have to do a lot more effort to improve.. man depression sucks T^T NO IM NOT DEPRESSED
[09.18] Morning everyone!! Im sure I dont have to explain why I update the diary late again.. I brasso'd my belt again, I can see my own reflection~ I have a few things that I should do for today, chemistry isnt so smooth for me, so I will study that during the weekend. HOPEFULLY MY MP3 WILL ARRIVE SOON MY GOODNESS IM EXCITEDDD

[23/4/2026]

[21.14] Why tf did I bother, its over ITS TRULY OVER stop hoping plzplzplz js stop, ure hurting urself atp theres no hope anymore js drop everything and die ofi its over
[19.30] Minutes away from the CRC meeting, honestly Im not feeling good rn, Im suuuuper dizzy dispite doing everything I should have been doin, ykno? Drink, eat, do my assignments, "refresh", socialize yet I feel sooooooo lonely all the time, maybe allof that.. idk anymore Im tired
[17.53] The IB verification meeting was cool! They gamefy the school policy regulation and asked us (student rep, teachers and mentors) to give input in the form of; binding the red thread between all 5 classifications of policy required by IB, how those policy can shape future leaders, questions and suggestions.. I wasnt very active in round 2 because I was very nervous talking w Mr.Deny and Ms.Lintang and Mentor (idk his name but hes batak) because they were already making gestures about hoooooooow they already disagree with most of the policies, I wasnt comprehending my policy as deep as expected soo thats probably one of the reason I was nervous with the 2nd round's discussion. Next week there will be another one of these IB verification preperation for the student representative, Ill try to comprehend whatever the reading next time AND be more active within further discussions. Im dissapointed in my self but I know where to start fixing. Its okey Ofi, humans feel bad emotions and its okey to have them^^
[09.02] Good morning!! Ofi back after a very satisfactory day yesterday~~ I just finished 3 of my assignments and right now is break time, so Im planning to just hee hee around and wait for my IB verification meeting in 58 minutes

[22/4/2026]

[20.30] Okayy B.Indo result is outt and I got a 5.. yuh its fine, Im sad but I did okey! At least I contribute a lot to the discussion >_< Furthermore, Im in charge of clearing out the 2nd floor.. and Im alone rn.. scary :< Huuuuu I dont like being aloneeeee but at least I was hanging out w my friends!! THE DUDE GOT A PIC OF HIS FUTURE GAL MAN IM SO DARN HAPPY HE SHOOTING HIS SHOT FROM FUCKIN PLUTO AND IT SCORED KINDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WBAHAHAHAHAHAA ROOTING FOR THE BOTH OF EM UNTIL DEATH MAMA Y PAPA
[11.22] WOAHHHH APPARENTLY IM ONE OF THE 3 FAVORITE KTB STUDENT BY MR.RAMLI ALONGSIDE SYAUQI AND BINTANG EKKKKKKKKKKK IM SO HONORED I WILL DO MY BEST IN JP SIRRRR >:D Anw i got my highest Bio score so far of 20/30 teheee~~^^
[09.14] Morning everyoneeee, sorry for the late update and the no-goodnight yesterday.. got a lil trouble :< I js finished the B.Indo quiz AND OMG IT WAS SO DAMN HARD I WAS FUCKIN DYING BUT AT LEAST I PASS BUT AT THE COST OF MY OWN SANITY FUCKKKKKK NEXT WEEK WE'LL DO THE SAME SHIT TOOOOOOOOOOO

[21/4/2026]

[17.55] I GOT INTO THE IB VERIFICATION TEAM AGAIN!!! ..oh god wish me the best of luck.. T^T
[05.40] NO THAT WAS SO BORING I DONT WANT TO END UP IN THE SICK LINE EVER AGAIN IDC IF IM DYING ILL GO W RUNNING ITS SO DAMN BORINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG WLEKK
[03.34] ..I cant keep waking up like this.. so uncomfy..

[20/4/2026]

[21.50] Huuuuu tired.. Im happy I got to at least help out my friends in understanding some of the materials, last story before bed, MM stocked up some cute looking yougurt that taste like shit, but its packaging is dam adorable for Rp4.000, a good friend of mine also fixed my broken Tamagotchi, its like life is giving me new stuff to replace the old withering ones, Im glad I started to find the fragments of myself again :D My friends are gonna be so proud of me once I tell them that Im only steps away from moving forward!! NO MORE BITCHES DISTURBING ME LIKE THE ANGEL AND DEVIL EXCEPT THE ANGEL ALSO BULLIES MY ASS OMG THEY GOT LIKE ONE JOB YET THEY STILL BULLY THE FAWK OUT OF MEEEEEEEE.. in total I cried 3 times today and I feel good. My life is beyond this and Im happy it will be beyond this. Goodnightt my darlingsss~~
[17.32] Finally back at the dorm! Just had a session with Uni of Toronto. I understand University's merit system now!! Im soooo happyyy EKKKKKKKKKK If I get all of my HL's above 5, I can transfer my merit score to Uni and I dont have to take 20 courses to graduate, only 17!! >_< May god help me with my Bio study today, whatever the result please let it be the output of my maximum effort!!
[14.55] WBHBHWAWHBWHABBAWHAHAAHAHAH FINALLY THEYRE CALLED TO THE PRINCIPLE'S OFFICE Aaaaaahh.. Im not too sorry for telling on them, its beyond terrible, what started out as "funny" remarks escalated into something far worst, call it sexual harrasment. I wonder how will the 2nd batch girlies react to this if they discover this out? That the boys of 1st batch were ranking them based on looks and the lowest ranking one was called uglu names.. I hope they at least get the punishment that they deserve..
[11.58] English formative done beautifully!! Im not that confident with my writing but Im excited to see the feedbacks later on, whatever score Im getting, I will accept it wholeheartedly and work on to improving my writing moving on! YESHHHHHH TRYING TO EMBODY THAT KARTINI IN MEEEEEEEEE
[08.27] I feel very pretty! Tomorrow will be Kartini's day, thanks to her letter, we get to have education, though our society is far from having the adequate education.Its settled then! I will keep on writing my diary! Not really ink and paper but It should suffice :3
[05.26] Good morning!! Today we're wearing batik (preferably gagrak) for the flag raising ceremony! I feel a lil lightheaded so wish me the best of luck not to faint :<

[19/4/2026]

[21.12] I did a lot of bad thing today, and for that, may god forgive this poor soul, lets reflect. I woke up a little late than usual, around 04.50 instead of 04.00 under the reason of sickness; I shouldnt let my body hinder my will to do my responsibilities! I cried when I texted my mom, this one in my opinion is necessary for me so that I continue on living with less emotional burden, but still, intuitively its better to regulate them in other ways (workin on it then!). I did not expect to have my period today, so next month at around 17-18 May, I shall prepare a pad on me at all time to avoid any more leakage. So far that was very fun! What a fun day, but Im eepy now.. Good night my darlingsss out theree ^^~
[20.13] I got my period todayy and it leaked through my jeans.. now I see why I was so emotional today >_< NO SORRY THE BITCHES WERE MY FRIEND GROUP ITS LIKE I HAVE 4 SATANS AROUND ME, AT FIRST THERE WERE ONLY 2 AND THEM BAM! 2 MORE SPAWNED OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF HELL!!!!!! My guesses were right, I got more meeting today.. now its 3 omfg I just want to sleeeeeeeeeep..
[19.06] IM SURROUNDED BY BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSWWJ,FSMS SJSJMSSUYT
[16.05] Huuuuuft finally done with biogeochemical cycle oml it took sooo long, welp ofc it took long, I cried to my mom first :> I miss her soo much I love being a crybaby to my mama, I cant wait to cry on to her after this 2 months!!
[14.20] OUCHH OUCHOUCHOUCH OUCHHHH STOP DOING THAT IT FUCKIN HURTSSSSSS GODDAMMIT I HATE U STOP DOING THAT I SAID STOP DOIN THAT WHAT PART OF MY WORD DONT YOU UNDERSTAND???? STOP DOING THAT YOURE HURTING ME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME
[13.05] "No longer the same river" ..huh youre right, its a dead end for me
[12.16] One meeting down! YEAYYY I BECAME THE COORDINATOR OF DECORATION FOR THE EXHIBITIONNNN IM GONNA GO HAM ON THIS SHIT MWUHEHEHEUHEUHEHEHUEHE >:D Oh u boys are truly MANCHILDDDDD wdymm u have a lil problem and u had a beef for w month??? IMMATURE ALL OF UUU
[08.37] Yummyyyy!! Almost done w my Bio~~ I became so efficient lately boooooo this aint fun
[07.26] Good morning!! Im a bit unwell today so pardon the late update :< We did some pilates (core training) for the morning exercise, very tiring but fun nevetheless. I spend another hour or so roaming around the GDA group w/ Nahisa, Kintan and Salma (the tall one), we visit the areas affected by the heavy thunderstorm and then we part ways for a moment; Nahisa and I visit the boy's dorm to do chinning and dead lift, I did 20 seconds btw >_< We meet up again and discuss about the bug at the chinning pole and head straight back to dorm, now here I am writing this entry~ I have 2 meetings for today, but that is the latest news, not sure if I suddenly will have more, but it was sure as hell tiring yesterday, I was so tired I just lay in bed unmoved, hurts too much to move for some reason.. Im a lot better now! What can I say? A darling must always bounce back ;) I want to be able to do at least one pull up before I move to GunSin, just for fun-!! Okii then Im gonna continue my Bio! Cyaaa loveliesss Mwahh!

[18/4/2026]

[21.19] HOW CUTEEE HE FELL ASLEEP :0 He mustve been very tired.. wanna pat him.. good night to him then! NOT TO THE REST OF U LOLOLOL STAY UP W MEE :P
[20.29] I wanna doomscroll so bad.. I havent doomscroll since the beginning of term break.. ARUGHHHHHH NOOOOO ITS USELESS OFI CMON NOW DONT RUIN URSELF LIKE THAT DAMMIITTTTTT Im fighting for my life rn.. Anw still studying Bio.. oml
[20.22] IM GONNA FUCKIN CRY NOOOOOO THE PARENTS I WANT MY PARENTS BACK TAKE ME BACK PLEASE TAKE ME BACK I DONT WANNA BE HERE I WANT MY MOMMMMMMM UNDAAAAAAAAAAA
[18.28] NVM GUYS ITS NOT BLOOD ITS JS YESTERDAYS BUBUK MUTIARA
[18.09] Unda.. I throw up actual fuckin blood ;-;
[09.45] ..I found more of your letters as Im cleaning up my area, "Iay Ovelay Ouyay". Turns out your present in my life might forever stay, is it okey if Im not moving on? But you dont have to know that, no one have to know, only me. I know you will never open my diary ever again, thats fine, Im hoping you will never plan to, thats good. Youre just sooo precious it really hurts me to see you sad, to see you hurt, please dont ever feel sad, I want uu happy, alone or with your friends and family. Even when all that I get is a glance of you, I hope it will be your beaming happy smile. My prayers will always be w u, I cant keep on pretending to hate u, its just not me, sorryyyyyy^^
[07.42] Finally everything that our 2 friend had go through can be shared to the mentors, apparently Ms.Naomi already know a lot about this, she hates many of the boys here because of their attitude, with this? Oh theyre so going out of this damn school, screw all of you I thought you guys are just cocky, turns out you guys are beyond inhumane. We finally synthesis another reason as to why Lynne possibly hate it here, no wonder.. Im glad shes no longer here, its the best for her, are all boys like this at the end? Seeing girls as nothing beyond looks?
[04.52] Good morning!! >_<

[17/4/2026]

[20.32] BWHBBWABHBABWHAASHHDAHDH I MADE 10 NAMES FOR THE HAUNTED MANSION GAME WHHAUHUAHDHD
[19.39] Im such a crybaby I cant believe I cry again.. Im not this weak please.. how do I convince myself that Im okey?? Im literally okey why cant I fuckin stoppp Im tiredd pleaseeeee
[18.26] Moments before dinner! Nyam :3 I spend more time on my bed today, just casually laying down, unfortunately not enough to make me feel rested.. Im really glad I get to lay down some more, feel like I will need it :> My sumamtives are appraoching soon so heres what Im gonna do for the night, wait for the meeting while reading OR watching Bio AND THEN do my meeting
[14.32] Achooo! :<
[12.27] MS DIAH WHISPERED TO MS LINTANG ABOUT HOW CUTE I LOOK WHEN I EAT???? EEEEEEKKKK SHES SO ADORBSSSSSS HUAAAAAAAA :(( I was so tired today, so I was really quiet during lunch, Im not sure why but Im really happy if someone compliment me in any waaaaaaay although Id probably deny it, I dont wanna be a cocky girl! I wanna be nice! :D Being a nice girl is fun, I love to help people as best as I could, too bad I cant help myself ;-; That is something Im working on rn! Its all about improvements, right? Socially, physically and mentally :>
[09.48] I believe in regret, its another perks of being a human. Therefore, Im human :)
[09.41] This cannot be real I HAVE ANOTHER MEETING AND ITS THIS AFTERNOON????? Do I just have to.. like.. not sleep?? I can tell my theme song this term is either AIZO by King Gnu, DeathByDevotion by Adela or Good Days by SZA ANYWAY I HAVE LOTS OF TEST NEXT WEEK MWHAUWHUAHWHHUWUHWUHAWUHAUHWhahhahahahhahhahahahahaha ha ha ha ha ha Im gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeee (no I wont, Im js being the dramatic girlie that I am) My friends called my mom a girlie girl! EXACTLY SHE ISSSSSSS THATS WHY IM LIKE THIS ITS BCUZ OF HERRRRR Though shes suuuuper scary when shes mad.. I think everyone is scary when theyre mad, but my mom is def the scariest.. my dad too.. still my mom is the scariest, I miss my mom I love my mom I want my mom :D Shes very adorable! I have a very adorable mom >_<
[07.26] Good morning world!! I brasso'd my belt and my friend's belt! Studied for Bio a lil too ;) I go for a morning exercise with the cohort and the stars were still visible, theyre tiny thooo and barely visible, dont chu know? I started wearing glasses bcuz my eyes were still swollen HOLDUP MR DENY

[16/4/2026]

[20.55] IM TIREDDDDDD WANT HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGG need someone to tell me I did okey.. undaaaaaaaaaaaa T^T I wanna lay in bed so baaaad but if I do, Im not knocked straight to the dreamland.. I still have stuff to do.. Im so tired I wanna sleep for 10 hours.. Im too tired now my head is filled w thoughts of him, I wonder how is he doin rn? I dont think he ever think of me, he probably just go on with his life just like before he ever met me. Im tired Im sorry I shouldnt think of him anymore, I dont wanna dissapoint my friend but if I didnt write it here, it will keep on floating around my head.. I wished we stayed frieSHUTUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PSTOP THINKINGGGGGGGGG how do I fix thisssss its so uncomfy, Im starting to want him out of this school I SHOULDNT THINK LIKE THAT ITS BADDDDDDDDDD his voice is still as soft as the ones in my memoriesSTOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP SHUTUP BRAIN SHUTUPPPPPPPP
[16.50] Im tired.. miss my mom.. Im so tired..
[12.55] Just got back from flower picking near Konstantin's planting area, lots of colorful wild flowers! I picked the purple flowers, want another attempt to make the natural colors~~ Wish me luck!! I need a strainer now..
[07.03] EUGHHHHH ITS SO ANNOYING IM NOT DONE W U YET THATS WHY IM STUCK. Everything was happening so quicklyyyyy if only theres a last chance to have a convo, or a chat so I can REALLY let everything out,EVERYTHING IS GONNA BE SO MUCH EASIERRRRRRR. Nvm after thinking about it, I dont think the chance will ever come, honestly even if I was given another chance to speak or chat w him, chances are either hes gonna be a coward and go away again, or Im gonna be the coward and run away, either way I guess Ill sit w this feeling forever, I cant even fully hate him because I know why he did that, I understand and his reasons were valid. I know it will end, but it kinda felt like a nightmare, I wished it didnt end this roughly on me, yeah, on me, hes probably already over all of this since 2 weeks ago, thats fine, good for him, Im just too much of a feeler to let go of all that precious moments. Ill stay longer. Ms Dian told me its hard for me to move because I understood his reason too much, I validate his feelings too much, too much of me were given to him and nobody to do the same to me (or at least thats what Ms.Dian said). I bet he wont understand why Im so upset or sad over this if he knew how I feel right now, hes too emotionally dumb (quote Jovan) and a coward (quote manymany of his close friends and ME & Ms.DIAN). Anyhow, Im not trying to forgive him, screw that Im tired, Im tired of writing all this bs, but its really the only thing that is actually helping me, this will be over soon, Im just taking my time with myself :> I hope his parents really drag him out of this school, Im sure his parents will be very happy to have their emotionally stupid son back>_<
[06.04] Good morning!! Im fasting today~~ I didnt have the appetite to eat my Sahoor so I only eat a little portion of it. On to the next, I WANNA WATCH THE MOVIE MARTY SUPREME NOWWWWWWW Im never a fan of sports-themed movie and series, but I heard the reviews, they mixed the history w a little spin-off A24 style

[15/4/2026]

[20.51] Ermm thats kinda embarrassing thooo why would you delete the message like that?? T^T Everyone can still see your damn chat yknoooo
[20.18] Ms.Diah called me Babygirl~~ Hufttt still in meeting rn, its so fun but Im kinda tired.. I wanna read the materials for tomorrow's Chemistry lesson but I dont think my brain can keep up. I have reached the part where Nastenka found her real lover and abandon our MC for her lover.. good for her but it was a truly foolish move, fit in character for her, she emphasised a lot on being "hopeless", "naive" etc, pretty much a 17 year-old that is portrayed a little too childish than reality, maybe because Its Dostoevsky who wrote it, and he is indeed very famous for his dream-like writing. I think the reason why the dialogue between Nastenka and MC is overwhelming sometimes; capturing the euphoria of being with someone you cherish, love is illogical but it made you happy, quoted many time in the book that they acknowledge their child-like acts when they are with one another, the euphoria I said earlier not only showed the happiness one felt with someone they love but also to show the passion of storytelling; each character told their story with great passion that drift the reader from reality to that dream-like high of their fleeting love story. Tragic.. OH NO THE LEADER IS HERE GOTTA GOOOOOOO
[07.21] FUH I HAVE ANOTHER MEETING TONIGHT IM GONNA DIE anw I was the 2nd last person to go down in my house during the PBB game ;P WHATEVER I WAS NERVOUS STFUUUUU At least my focus is kinda improving, well thats a good thing! Next I gotta work on my stress and nervousness, might be useful for later onn :3 Stupid thoughts keep popping up
[05.44] BWAUHWAUUAWHHAHHAHHAAAUWHAA THEY HAD JUST ARRIVED LIKE 10 MINUTES AGO WHAT DA FAWKKKKKK WHY IS TODAYS EXERCISE LONGER THAN USUAL T^T I FEEL BAD BUT IM SO HAPPY
[05.02] Good morning everyoneeee I have Jakam duty today ;D Some of you might be unfamiliar with the term "Jakam"; its a rotated duty across dorm rooms at my boarding school where a room at duty must clean up the hallway and trashes alongside the laundry (because Im on the 3rd floor and laundry is on the 4th floor) and ensure that everyone is awake for either morning exercises or morning prayer. Whats the advantage? If that day has morning exercise, YOU GET TO SKIP IT MWAUHUWHWUAUWHUAWUHUWU HELLL YEAH.. haahhh thats a lot of fun >_< its still early on but I kinda want to sketch a little.. These last few days, I havent gotten the chance to have a quiet mind and scribble doodle.. Things got a lil complicated, beyond my super bad social skill, I have an equally bad self management I FEEL PATHETICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC Im scaredd that I wont be able to live out of this phase.. will I stuck like this forever? ..Ill try my best not to? I can ask others for help, right? ..nvm I still feel bad.. wait no Im getting bad thoughts again I should stop then BWUAWAHUWWHAHWUAAUW I SEE MY COHORT RUNNING T^T OMG IM SO HAPPY I DIDNT JOIN TODAY'S EXERCISE YIPPIEEEEEEE.. I kinda want to start doing pull up, but my arm strength is literally negative.. ILL ASK HANA! Okayy Im rlly eepy.. Ill see you all soon^^

[14/4/2026]

[20.15] YEAYYYYYY IM BACKKKK HUAAAA IT WAS SO HARDDDDDDDD TO CODE EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAINNNN T^T It was worth it thoo.. Hopefully.. I already talked w my SEL counselor, she said whatever is going w me, its fine, Im a teenager and this is how I processed my emotions.. I hope its really fine.. Man I know I sound super mean but I really understand what happened, I really did!! Cant say I have fully forgiven him, or at all yet but really, I understand whyyyyyyy but cant say that everything is already fine from my end. I really want to let everyone know that everything is fine, I have no hatred in me, all that its left is just bits of sadness.. please I hope you guys understand :<
[21.06] As Im still doing my math homework from the girliest girl to eveer girl, I figure out a way for me to move on! BY SEEING HIM AS A FATHER FIGURE WHO GO BUY SOME MILK AND RETURN ONLY TO SPANK MY AHH BCUZ THE SANDWHICH THAT I MADE WAS COLD MWHEMEHMEWHEHMEME PERFECT SO THEREFORE MY BRAIN WILL GO "Oh no its the scary abusive father figure gogogogo SOS SOS SOS" YEAHHHHHHHHH FLAWLESS INDEED no back to my math >_<